Lipstick Lovers: Prioritizing Your Personal Pleasure


Be honest: When was the last time you made your own pleasure a priority— especially if you were never conditioned to embrace it? 

“It’s uncommon to see mainstream expressions of feminine sexual pleasure that don’t cater to a male gaze,” says Ashley Jelks, founder of cannabis sexual wellness brand High Priestess. “This is even truer when it comes to Black femme sexuality.” But with more Black women establishing holistic self-care practices in recent years, the use of sex toys has become less taboo. Whether you’re fully immersed in your sexual nature or you’re in a place of perusal, lipstick and bullet vibrators—used solo or with partners—can elevate your experience, says Shan Boodram.

Not only are they discreet, but “these vibrators can have more total-body appeal,” she explains. “They can go against nipples, necks, butt cracks—you name it.” For nervous newcomers, Valentine’s Day may be a good time to put these toys to the test. “There’s an expectation to level up sex on the 14th,” Boodram notes. “It can help take the stigma out of it.” And let us never forget that we’re all entitled to sexual pleasure. “It’s not something you have to earn,” says Jelks, who believes cannabis—whether inhaled or used topically—can help remove mental barriers, thus enhancing physical experimentation. “Pleasure is our birthright. We are born deserving of it.”  

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